Communication Skill Change as a result of Social Media

Has social media changed the interaction with people in our communication skills?

I define communication as a transactional process unique in human beings by the exchange of symbols through verbal and non-verbal languages. For example, when I communicate with someone else, I am transacting symbols of communication with the other person and expect some response. The transaction continues as the person responds and the process continually builds on what was previously transacted.

If we agree on the definition of communication, then is there a change within our scope of the communication transaction as a result of social media? I believe there is and the first step in improving our communication skills is in acknowledging the changes.

A good case study is how our society has changed in the usage of magazine publication which was once a huge print business in the world. A good review of the impact on the magazine publishing world is written by Parul Jain, Zulfia Zaher, and Enakshi Roy in Magazines and Social Media Journal of Magazine & New Media Research. The title of their research and finding is Magazines and Social Media Platforms: Strategies for Enhancing User Engagement and Implications for Publishers. (3Vol. 17, No. 2 Winter 2017).

A few highlights of their work that I found worth noting for our question are:

• “Most stakeholders expect organizations to have some presence on social media platforms, and a lack of it is considered unacceptable and non-normative in this day and age” (page 2). 

• “Given the nature of social media platforms, an audience that engages with magazines can critique the content put forth by the magazine, create new content on that magazine’s social pages, interact with fellow readers, and express both positive and negative emotions online” (page 3).

Jain, Zaher, and Roy make a noteworthy quote for our question from Malthouse, Calder, and Eadie:

• "Less engaged customer would be one who merely provides simple feedback, such as 'liking' an image on a social media platform, while a more engaged customer would be one who “actively engages in co-creation,” such as producing content for the brand"2 (page 4).

As we examine the changes in communication, we must also accept the use of social media platforms is a diverse field. In 2015 Magazine Publication Associate reported of the top five followed/liked magazine brands on media National Geographic and Vogue were listed. Interestingly, the vast diversity in the magazine’s primary theme was also reflected in the diversity of the platform in which the user was engaging the magazine in a social media setting. Which I see as a direct tie-in with Jain, Zaher, and Roy’s earlier statements that: “one of the main motivations for engaging with a magazine on social media was the accessibility of magazines across multiple social media platforms and various devices” (page 11).

In response, Jain, Zaher and Roy concluded: “Our findings suggest that the participants gratify different needs (such as home décor and fashion) utilizing specific platforms that are more likely to cater to those needs” (page 16). Another response is: “Magazine readers expect publishers to maintain an engaging and relevant social media presence” (page 18).

The changes are not limited to magazine publishing. The above is simply one case study which illustrates the larger truth: Social Media has change the scope of our communication skills. We are no longer a society focusing on one medium such as a magazine, newspaper, journal, or media outlet to access information. Social media allows for the reader to share the information across large audiences through their social media platforms. Communication as a transaction is evolving with the digital age. Social media expands readers access as well as allowing a reader to look beyond the vast material to a specific search criteria. It would appear as a result of social media, our communication skills are growing and increasing for the better while making “it is a small world after all.”

There is one thing that has not changed ... You know I love ya, Don

1. Parul Jain, Zulfia Zaher, Enakshi Roy, Magazines and Social Media Platforms: Strategies for Enhancing User Engagement and Implications for Publishers. Magazines and Social Media Journal of Magazine & New Media Research. 3Vol. 17, No. 2 • Winter 2017

2. Edward C. Malthouse, Bobby J. Calder, and Wayne P. Eadie, “Conceptualizing and measuring magazine reader experiences” (presentation, Worldwide Readership Symposium, Cambridge, MA,2003),285–306.

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The root of the problem ... PRIDE!

The root problem at the very core of all of our lives is pride. Now I know that’s nothing new. In fact, this problem first surfaced in the Garden of Eden. The problem with pride is that it robs us not only of a full and meaningful relationship with other people but, even more so, it robs us of a full and meaningful relationship with God.

A working definition of pride: Pride is simply our refusal to acknowledge God as we should. It is failing to realize fully that all of our abilities, achievements, possessions and relationships are not due ultimately to our sound judgment or superior wisdom, but to the gifts and grace of a sovereign God.

God has declared himself in Scripture as the active antagonist of the proud. God is adamantly opposed to those who set themselves up in proud self-sufficiency. Throughout Scripture we find the same theme repeatedly: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (cf. James 4:6). But I’m afraid that most of us today are unaware of our problem with pride. Daniel 4 offers three very basic steps in overcoming pride. A person can over come pride by taking the steps of knowing where your helps comes from, acknowledging God is greater, and recognizing that God is right. 

You know I love ya, Don 

Easter is a time of new beginnings.

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, a student nurse found one elderly gentleman–already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet–who insisted he didn’t need a wheel-chair to help him to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the student wheel him to the elevator. On the way down the student  asked him if his wife was meeting him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bath- room changing out of her hospital gown.”

Maybe, we need to listen more and talk less...Easter is a place of new beginnings. Let Jesus' hope transform you!

You know I love ya, Don

Intentional Focus on Listening

There will be times when listening to God will be inconvenient. 1 Samuel 3 reveals: "The LORD called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, ’Here I am; you called me.’ Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, ’Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’’ So Samuel went and lay down in his place."

Sometimes we are so busy serving … we are distracted from hearing

God often calls us to things that

            1. don’t fit our schedule

            2. don’t fit our agenda

            3. don’t fit our ideas of what should be done

I don’t like to think about doing that… it’s "inconvenient." But, if I’m going to grow up to be like my Father in heaven - I better learn to be inconvenienced.

Proverb 2:1-5 – “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,

            turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding—

                        indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,

And if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,

            then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

The art of listening is intentional focus on what is being said ... you know I love ya, Don

A Traffic Ticket Gone Wrong.

John went to the store the other day. He was only in there for about five minutes, and when he came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So John went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

The Police Officer ignored John and continued writing the ticket. So John called him a jerk. He glared at him and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!  Then John really got angry with the cop and started calling him some even more unfriendly names. The cop finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more John abused him, the more tickets he wrote. When the cop finally ran out of tickets, he silently mounted his bike and drove on down the road. John just stood there looking at the multitude of tickets shaking his head. He then proceeded to take his keys out of his pocket and walk to his car that was parked around the corner

The message was a good one, “give a guy a break.” The delivery however was the problem. The police officer never took the time to ask, “Is this your car?”

The question is; “What does God seek from His followers?” What is God’s call of us on our long obedience in the same direction?

“Mighty warrior” is what the angel calls Gideon...And here is Gideon’s response …. Judges 6:15 "But Lord, "Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."

Wow, now that sounds like a special guy now doesn’t it? Gideon has an impressive resume’ … I am a no body… He’s got the weakest clan, and he is the lowest out of all of them. Basically Gideon says, “God I am the lowest of the low. Why would you pick me, I am just an ordinary guy living out my days waiting for someone else to make life better.”

A long obedience in the same direction recognizes that God has called every believer to a purpose. Gideon reveals that God is speaking and that through the transformational power of the Holy Spirit every believer is a mighty warrior. 

What question is in front of you today? Answer it and allow God to move through you, another one of His Mighty Warriors. You know I love ya, Don

Leadership knows when and when not to....

Two monks, Tanzan and Ekido, were walking down a country road on their way to visit a local monastery. They came upon a lovely young girl dressed in fine silks, who was standing in front of a muddy stream afraid to cross it.
 
“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan. And he picked her up in his arms, and carried her across. The two monks did not speak again till nightfall when they had returned to the monastery. Ekido couldn’t keep quiet any longer.
 
“Monks shouldn’t go near girls,” he said “certainly not beautiful ones like that one! Why did you do it?”
 

“My dear fellow,” said Tanzan. “I put that girl down, way back at the crossing. It’s you who are still carrying her! (Peter Pauper Press, Zen Buddhism, 1959).

This is a great story for the church today. There are many muddy paths that people must cross in today’s organizations and leadership needs to be clear, decisive and appropriate to the situation. Tanzan in the above story shows unique leadership. He sees the situation and is able to do what is needed. He is not encumbered by ideas, rules and procedures but looks at what is needed. Even more importantly, he is able to move down the road after the event with a clear mind. He lets go of any anxiety about whether he acted rightly or wrongly. Tanzan would have been able to see and respond to the next action because his mind is not still carrying his last action.

Ekido, however, is still carrying his judgements, thoughts and concerns. Ekido needs rules and procedures to control him in his journey. On the outside Ekido may look like the “perfect” monk – but inside he is torn by the rules of being a monk and needs these rules to manage his inner yearnings.

While concepts, rules and ideas may help guide a person in training, a true leader carries his/her mission in his/her heart – it is not external rules that make the person. The leader models the way not by following outer form but by seeing their work as their way of being. Our love to God, for each other, and for life needs to permeate every fiber of our being so that we can let things go that are not essential while passionately carrying dynamics of life that are essential!

You know I love ya, Don

To be known or not to be known...that is a great question!!!

Philippians 3:7-14 (English Standard Version)

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith-- that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. 

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

That I may know Christ is a profound statement. I have been in an Ignatius of Loyal study of listening. Ignatius was a spiritual director and wrote a guide for spiritual development. These writings are known as the spiritual exercises. The unit I am currently developing in my listening to God is that God truly desires to know me and desires for me to know him. God has created me for the purpose of relationship, but more than a relationship, God truly wants to live with me and allows me to live with him. The same truth is offered to you.

Paul was satisfied with Jesus Christ but He was not satisfied with his Christian life. To many, Paul was a spiritual giant. However, he wanted them to know that he had not yet obtained his spiritual goals (v. 10). He was still actively pressing...straining... toward these goals. When Paul spoke of his gain he was referring credentials, credits and successes (vv. 7-8). He could beat the Judaizers at their own game  (being proud of who they were and what they had done) but it is the wrong game. We need to be careful of considering past achievements so important the they get in the way of our relationship with Christ. Paul gave up everything (family, friendship and freedom) in order to know Christ and His resurrection power (vv. 9-11).

Many Christians are self-satisfied because they compare their life with that of other Christians. If Paul had compared himself with others, he would have been tempted to be proud and perhaps to let up a bit. Instead Paul compared himself with himself and with Jesus Christ! He had not arrived at perfection (v. 12), but he is striving for maturity (v.13), and one mark of that maturity is that he is not perfect.

Paul pursued Christ likeness with the enthusiasm and persistence of a runner. Vigorously and with concentration Paul sought to win the prize to which God had called him. He kept his eyes on the goal and he refused to let anything distract him (v. 14).

It does not matter what my age or where I am in my Christian walk,  I am running to win and have a goal of finishing well for the Lord through "straining" to reveal myself in relationship with him and then accepting the revelation of God in my own life.

You know I love ya,
Don

Are you Listening???

It was September 17^th, 2003. I was about to become a father for the first time. BUT: Hurricane Isabel was headed toward Richmond, VA, our home. So the doctors decided to induce labor and not take the risk Matthew would arrive during Isabel's fury. We are leisurely driving to the hospital and Karen looks over and says, “you can go faster.” I reply, “but I didn't want to make you nervous...” She said nothing, but gave me “the look” and drove faster.

We arrive and the process is started. At 9:30 AM, the world's perfect minster's wife, sweet, kind, and hospitable to a fault...grunts, “I think it is working!” grabs my arm and squeezes so hard, I had a bruise for a week. After several hours of labor, Matthew was not cooperating...so off to an emergency C-section and then the news...He has a heart defect and has Down syndrome.

For six hours we were told over and over how bad things were and then that evening at 11 PM, I was called into Nero-natal intensive care unit to get more information from the Neonatologist, the Cardiologist, and a nurse...they were waiting for me. They give me all the bad news and hurricane Isabel turned into hurricane Matthew. Then I said, “OK, I am the biggest guy in the room and no one is leaving this room until I hear some good news? When do we get to take him home?” The Neo-natologist said, “Maybe by around Thanksgiving IF EVER!” I looked at him and said, “You fired!” Looking over at our little, petite Cardiologist, I said, “you're next.” She stated, “I see this on a regular basis and it is going to be a journey, but we will get you there.” I took that and we began walking out...and Nurse Marie leaned over and said, “I will be giving him his first bath at 3 AM, you come back and we can do it together.” She was listening...All the diagnoses had gotten in the way... all the crisis reports were clouding the goal... all the dreams were changing ... all I wanted to do was be a dad. Nurse Marie, was listening and she heard my request.

With email, facebook, twitter, text messaging, Ipods, I phones, and I pads... we have forgotten the art of listening...The Apostle James stated, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”

What is speaking to you today?...

God speaks to us everyday....

Spouses, children, and family speak to us everyday...

Neighbors, colleagues, competition speaks to us everyday...

Creation and all its beauty speaks to us everyday...

Our inner conscience speaks to us everyday...

What is speaking to you today? Are you Listening?

Are you willing to lean over and say, “I am going to give him his first bath at 3 AM, come back and we will do it together.”

You know I love ya and want to listen...Don

Have Mercy on Us!

When [the blind beggar] heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" -Mark 10:47 (NRSV)

God is speaking...studying Mark 10:46-52, I was deeply moved by Bartimaeus's experience of regaining his sight. I thought how helpless the sightless man must have felt. All around him, the crowd sought to silence him when he cried out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

Amid all the noise and distraction of the crowd that followed the Master, the blind man's cry for mercy should have been almost impossible for Jesus to hear. Yet, that voice, that cry of desperation, reached the heart and ears of Christ. And he healed Bartimaeus.

How merciful, indeed, is the Lord! No matter what our problems, no matter what interference we may encounter, we can cry out to God, secure in the knowledge that God will hear and respond. God is speaking, may I be quiet enough to listen.

You know I love ya, Don

The Learning Principle: Listen and Change

The Learning Principle: Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something. Take a look at Ephesians 2:20, “built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.” The foundation of the apostles, prophets, and Christ Himself is servant teaching. A Christ-follower does not stop learning. A Christ-follower will never stop learning…in fact a Christ-follower is dedicated to learning and seizing every opportunity to improve their walk with the Lord and with each other.

Learning begins with listening and change is always the goal of learning. These are two actions that are hard to do…listening and changing. The success of listening and changing is to value everyone. People do not listen, nor do they change because of someone they do not value. Thus, in order to achieve the Learning Principle, we need to listen to and value every person.

Ralph Waldo Emerson stated it this way, “I have never met a man who was not my superior in some particular.” You and I grow and learn best in the areas of our strengths and we can learn from other people’s area of strength.

I am taking the approach that every person has the ability to teach me something, I want to connect with that person and continue to build on the foundation of Spiritual development in your life. Lets make connections! - Don