Is it difficult to be myself before God?
I would answer that I do not find it hard to be myself with God when I
am honest about who I am in God. Another way to state it is that when I
am pure before God, I do not have a hard time to be honest before him.
As I have stated in other posts, I was raised in a believing family and
we attended a healthy church that taught from the bible. So, it would be
abnormal for me to deny that God exists or to try and deny that which
is true to my DNA. I cannot deny that which he has done and I have seen.
Our God is all knowing, all powerful, and all present. Thus, I would
have a harder time denying that God already knows my issues before I
present them to him because of who I am in him.
Luther states
that prayer refers to prayer as stating what is in our hearts and from
my experiences, God has all knowledge of what is in my heart. So, to
deny honesty to him would not be in my mode of action. BUT, what
is in my mode of action is to be come complacent in my sin and then I
deny "who" I am in God. That is to hedge around my sin or as my six year
old daughter says, "I don't want to talk about it." I know that God
knows and I know that I know, but a complacent believer just denies it
exists and on a spiritual level states, "I do not want to talk about
it." Yes, this is a form of un-honesty, but....
I can be myself before God as long as we talk about the things I am willing to talk about.
Where I find the traction for my prayer life is when I submit myself to
talking about what God wants to talk about. It is also then, that I am
willing to hear the "yes" to my petitions and I am willing receive the
"no" to my petitions as a response that is given in my best interest. I
believe this would be best stated in our modern culture as possessing a
"transparency" with God.
I can truly say at this point in my
spiritual walk, I am honest with God and feel I am transparent with his
spirit, yet as soon as I type these words there are areas of my life
that are not as transparent and honest as I would like them to be. That
is why I find so much hope in the Martin Luther's words, "Prayer is made
vigorous by petitioning; urgent by supplication; by thanksgiving,
pleasing and acceptable." God knows me better than I know myself and he
works on my honesty and transparency, he is also very patient with the
areas that I am not willing to deal with. It is in my trust and faith in
him that He is able accomplish the most in completing the work that he
started in me.
You know I pray for you and I love ya, Don
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