Monday, January 18, 2010

Not Now!

Have you ever been in a place when God answers a prayer with, "Not Now?" It is sort of a "no" yet it still leaves the door open for a yes. If you read regularly, you know Karen and I were trying to adopt a little guy that has Down Syndrome. Last Friday, we received a call that the his birth family decided to go with the other family. We had prayed all along that God would close the doors if this was not what He wanted. He answered our prayer.

God also answered our prayer with an opening that we had not been prepared for. It was an answer of "not now." If there had not been an urgency in the process, we probably would have reasoned a way out of God's call, yet through the process He revealed His desire for us and then made it possible with all the paper work and people involved. God used this situation and this little guy in Chicago to bring us to a point of preparation for the next step.

This first time I truly had to learn this was when Matthew was born. He had been diagnosed with ASD and VSD and would eventually need heart surgery. I remember praying, "Lord, just let us take him home." Now I did not hear any audible voices, but I knew in my heart the answer was, "No." To be totally honest, that answer from God did not make me very happy...in fact it ticked me off. I did not lose heart or my faith. I just did not want to hear it. I prayed it for several days and the answer repeated, "no."

To make a long story short, a little over a week later Matthew went into congestive heart failure and we were transferred to the University of Virginia Hospital. After we were admitted the business people came through and they regretfully informed us that UVA was not a participating hospital in our insurance policy. I told the woman that I was a minister and she laughed and told me I might be paying on this for a long while.

42 days in the hospital and we finally got Matthew home. Three surgeries for heart and staph infection. Many doctors, nurses and caregivers to thank and then we were home. The next day, we received the bill for over $473,000. Yes, almost a half a million dollars. Our insurance carried a $10 co-pay for every doctor we saw. We had over $3,000 in $10 co-pays.

The day after that, we received a letter from our insurance that stated we had an underwriter in our policy that stated if we were transferred from a participating provider to a non-participating provider it would be covered as an "in-network" facility. Thus, they would be willing and did pay every dime. So, they answer God originally gave us of "no" would have better been stated, "No now." If we had went home, we would have had to pay everything, instead God was in control and He was going to take care of the bill. They paid for everything but our co-pays. Gethsemane Church of Christ raised the funds and paid for the co-pays and even more than that to cover some therapies and educational supplies.
I waited patiently for the Lord ; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord . Psalm 40:1-3
God has put a desire in our hearts to adopt an infant boy with down syndrome. The answer we have currently is, "Not now." We are confident that He is with us on this journey and He has changed the flight path, but the destination is still the same. Thank you for your prayers and as always - You know I love ya - Don

2 comments:

Tara said...

We're getting the "not now" on adopting a child with Ds through Reece's Rainbow. Sigh. Not a big fan of the "not now", but I have no problem trusting Him.

Don Crane said...

I understand...wait, wait, wait. It will be worth it.