Signs You Bought a Lousy Tree
7. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"
6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers
5. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride.
4. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it.
3. It's very small and says "air freshener" on it.
2. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours.
1. You are constantly bragging about its "trunk size"
Drink a cup of Hot Cocoa and admire your tree this year. You are loved...happy Friday! -Don
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